I didn’t ask

for this body I was given.

for the pounding emotions I feel.

for the abuse you so graciously sent me.

for the pain of losing everything.

for the things you said to convince me

of things I didn’t want to do.

for all the pain and suffering I’ve seen.

for the family that abandoned me.

for the loss of relationships you forced on me.

for the path you led me to believe

was something I wanted.

for being ignored and refused.

for feeling torn up and used.

for the thoughts that tell me I’m wrong.

for the ideas that tell me I’m nothing

without you.

I didn’t ask for any of this

-then what did I ask for?

and what do I want now?